i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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