thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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