We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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