He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
