so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
