he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Shame is for Republicans.
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