remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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