is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
