I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
