loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
