i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just googled if crying burns calories
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
