why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
