good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
