there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
