Dual....:-)
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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