is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize