im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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