well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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