Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
