i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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