No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
