No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
