PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
