In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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