I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
