Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
