So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
