Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
