she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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