this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
His nipple licking is glorious
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