The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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