We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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