why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she told me i tasted like america
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
