actually, I'm a sock model
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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