I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
