it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I am mentally ready for anal.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
