This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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