So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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