it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
