So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
