Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
two words: eviction party
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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