New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
