im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Life is so much better after having sex.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
