i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
