we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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