Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
