GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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