kristin has been a bad kristin
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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