You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
