I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
