Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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