I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
