He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
