At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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