No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
