Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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