I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The Olympian is in my bed
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
