can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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