youre lurking in front of me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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