Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize