then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
