I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
