Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize