Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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