i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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