Betty ford says i'm here all night
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am naked and annoyed.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
