i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
