what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
