im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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