She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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