I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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